We caught up with the CCTV All-stars after their performance at Cross club on Thursday night, where they teamed up with French ska band Les Fils de Teuhpu to totally and completely rock the place into a jump-up-and-down frenzy. 

Follow the links above and get their music happening while you read the following interview, or else risk certain doom. 

Questions were compiled in advance by interviewing patrons of a local pub to find out what they really want to know about their favorite band, if they could ask anything. 

Without further ado, the CCTV All-Stars.  Note: lead singer Ed refused to open his mouth until all the band members were present -- another check mark in the "man has a brain" coloumn.

1. Open your eyes and look around you. What do you see?
lights
Eddy
joint
girls

2. When are you playing next?
Chateau December 10th 2008

3. Where can we find your music?
myspace/cctvallstars

4. Do you have some stickers?
no. yeah

5. What's the name of your band?
CCTV All-Stars

6. Don't you think you should get sponsored by Converse All Stars sneakers?
yes could you please ring them for us I just want a [..horat?]

7. How many people are there in the band?
5 1/2

8. How's the music scene here in prague?
big enough
looked good tonight
a little competition is good
you have to conquer it!

9. Why don't you just interview yourselves instead of making me do all the work?
fukn lazy
can't talk to ourselves

10. what song were your parents listening to when they conceived you?
Black Sabbath

11. What was the first song you learned to play?
5% (by CCTV)
Hot Cross Buns
No Woman No Cry

12. Who are the band members and what do you play?
Ed - guitar, vocals
Ulf - bass
Omar - drums
Stepan - trombone
Tommy Trumpet - trumpet

13. what's your favorite one of your songs?
5% (unanimous answer)

14. Where do you get your inspiration from?
mushrooms
the sun
drugs + women

15. Where did you find Tommy Trumpet?
at the corner store
Karlovo Namesti
"If I was Tommy Trumpet, where would I be?" -TT himself

16. What's your drug intake?
we're straight edge

17. What's your next step?
doing drugs
a big one for us a small one for mankind

18. we should talk about the Apocalypse
I advise everybody to watch zeitgeist and apollo13
I advise Eddy to try and spell zeitgeist

19. What do you wish you could do excellently?
suck my own dick
spell zeitgeist
take a shower
play guitar

20. What's your favorite color?
Blue Ocean
5%
white

21. Would you care to gaze into the forbidden stone?
what the fuck is that?
you mean the, ten, you know what?

22. The Ten Commandments?
yeah.

23. no.

24. Who would in in a fight between Mr. T and Nico from Velvet Underground?
who are they?

how about between Madonna and Godzilla?
people need to stop fighting

Dimebag Darrel and Tupak?
Tupak

Axl Rose and J. Timberlake?
Axl Rose

24. Can you freestyle?
-Omar can he just did when we were playing
-yes if my life is worth living I can
-"I dress freestyle, all my clothes is free... if style's free I'll wear it." Tommy Trumpet

25. Is life on earth destined for greatness or something else?
-else. Honestly, it's uh, parallel universes
-Life on earth is to live. if people wake up and realize the truth,, and I hope they will

26. What happens after death?
the same. parallel universes
life, everything converts it keeps going
we never die

30. What's your favorite thing for dinner?
smazeny syr at 3am
sex
mom's food

31. What are you trying to say with CCTV allstars?
we're trying to play music
wake up.  if anybody can find a point in that, good

32. What's your favorite way to get dizzy?
spin around

33. What's on the moon?
cold
the lunatic is on the grass

34. What's in your pockets?
telefon
keys
snotty hanky
flier of a band we just played with
a lighter I stole from the guy in Decin
absolutely no money

35. Who are you?
who are YOU!
Who is anyone?
a human being
pass that joint

36. Where do you come from?
earth

37. where are you going?
to the future

38. how will you get there?
just wait
live now in the present

39. Are you involved in other musical projects?
yes we all play other music in other bands

40. Would you mind answering a few questions?
you fucking cunt

41. Who's your sound man?
we can't afford one.  if someone wants to, call 728 427 777 give a ring

42. Are you in danger of drowning in the pussy juice?
yes
that's a bit personal
truthfully yes

43. What are your songs about?
my big mouth
playing
busking
homeless
lone
tommy trumpet
fear
Jesus
observations on politics
truth
lies
general life

44. what are the chords to Guantanamo Bay?
Amin A#maj Dmin G#maj

45. If you were a hot brazillian girl would you fuck Herb Alpert?
If I was a hbg I wouldn't be talking to you right now
it's better luck if you are a girl

46. Do you have any other questions?
omar to ed "did you pay the rent?"
ed "not yet but I'm sorting it out I promise."
ed "does my breath smell?"
steve "I don't wanna know"
zeke an innocent bystander "when the fuck are you gonna get famous so we can stop living all homeless and cracked out?"
ed "shutup and roll a joint"

47. how often do you practice?
never! but we're such good friends and we hang out all the time, so we don't, but we play together