Observations on Traveling on Czech Trains & BusesOliver White shares some of the more arcane knowledge he picked up researching his earlier Czech Trains & Buses articles
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1. Instead of buying a ticket in advance, it's possible to buy it on any bus or train, but it's more expensive and makes you susceptible to the all-time favorite game of state agencies: Screwing with foreigners and making up rules on the spot. 2. There may be times on a train when you will have to go to the bathroom into a hole in which the ground below is the only thing visible -- there is an unspoken rule that one should use the facilities only when the train is in motion, you could scar children for life. 3. Don't drink the water from the bathroom, unless you were planning to go for an expensive enema treatment but couldn't come up with the cash. 4. Bus drivers are usually scary in at least two ways. You can decide how during the ride. 5. Shouting back at the crazy person who is screaming at a trashcan never helps. 6. The national trains give you many language options; just none of them are in English. I hope you've been polishing up on your Russian, German Czech or French. 7. Reading a book is not enough to prevent old ladies from engaging you in conversation. Take along something with headphones. Or maybe only headphones, for pretending. 8. Buses are often cheaper than trains, but not as comfortable, especially on those long journeys to Lisbon. 9. Don't be afraid to open a window. They are not closed because the other passengers necessarily want them that way. Be a rebel! 10. A second-class Czech sleeper car is equivalent to a fourth-class bunk bed, and only half as comfortable. Each cabin holds six passengers (and beds!), the highest of the beds being only a half-meter from the ceiling. In this way, a common male morning condition is more dangerous than usual. 11. If the train stops randomly for up to 45 minutes, don't be alarmed when you see a conductor walking around hitting the base of the train with a sledgehammer. This is normal. 12. Bus drivers are seemingly paid by how fast they can get from one destination to another and by how many Czech curses they can launch at the cars they pass. 13. Make sure you are on time, as most drivers or conductors deliberately try to leave you behind. And the nice old lady next to you who obviously doesn't care that you can't understand her at all may, in fact, try to cut open your pockets or purse with a World War II memorabilia knife. 14. If it's not the old lady, it's likely that some stinky bastard will sit next to you with 20 long rohlíky (bread rolls) and a tube of sausage paste, desiring conversation and a shoulder upon which to doze. 15. If you are at a station late at night, carry at least one plastic bag containing all or some of the following: old newspapers, a jar of something that has been pickled, dog feces, etc. Anyone thinking of mugging you would possibly think you're a local nutbar and may reconsider -- as long as you share. RELATED ARTICLE: Czech Trains & Buses • The views expressed in this article are the author's own and don't necessarily represent the views of Prague TV or Real Time Productions |
Article added on Thu 6th Sep, 2007 [last updated Thu 6th Sep, 2007]Share this page 
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