XXX

The despicable XXX showcases Vin Diesel and none of Prague's beauty.

XXX
Directed by Rob Cohen
Written by Rich Wilkes
Starring Vin Diesel, Samuel L. Jackson, Asia Argento


Everyone’s heard the old saw that Eskimoes have a hundred words for snow and Hawaiians have a hundred words for waves. Having seen the abomination that is XXX, I wish I had a hundred more words in my vocabulary that mean shit.

No one expects to see Casablanca when they walk into a movie like XXX. You want some good action scenes, some entertaining bad guys, and a charismatic star. XXX delivers none of these. The action sucks, the villains are morons and, most importantly, Vin Diesel is a fuckwit. This mumbling block of steroidal sinew is every asshole you’ve ever hated in your life. He has absolutely no appeal and no acting ability, and sure as hell doesn’t deserve to be living after a stuntman died to help him cash his paycheck. (Stuntman Harry O’Connor was killed when he struck the Palacky bridge while performing a parasailing maneuver.)

Several weeks ago, I lambasted The Sweetest Thing as weak, childish and not at all funny. Yet many of you still saw it, and then wasted my time telling me how bad it was. If you read this review and still pay money to see XXX, you deserve to have your head banged against a bridge while dangling from a parasail. By giving this movie your money, you are supporting a despicable, bankrupt mentality. You are not supporting the Prague film industry, you’re supporting scumbags in the American film industry who come to this city and treat it like a cheap whore. If you want to see Prague on film, browse Virus Video’s Czech film section and give your money to a more worthy cause.

Words fail me in condemning XXX and everything it represents.


READERS' COMMENTS


I like your comment. What an ass you are, claiming Vin Diesel killed a stuntman collecting a paycheck. As if he wanted it. I suppose you are a (former) communist, hating everything that you don't understand, but forgetting that those people made you what you are. And yes, you watch movies like XXX. Because of a stupid, immoral urge to hope to see the people you can never be. Like kids, hoping to find a heroe. Ad since you can not live up to the expectations, you start to moralize. Sorry little fuck, watching movies secretly, and then trying to be a better man. I feel for you...

henry
October 14th, 2008

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